Kirsten Hawkins - IDEA School

Worthy

I want to look at you with pure eyes
But my eyes are swollen from the last time you laid your hands on me
 

With eyes that see nothing but the best of you
But all I see is the hatred that you have for me every time you call me names
 

I want my eyes to sparkle every time I look at you
But all I see is the shadow of your fist

I am Worthy

I want to be so in love with you that nothing will break that
But I don't know how that would happen if you're one that is breaking me down

I want every time you look at me, for your eyes to be filled with happiness
But I’m afraid to look you in the face to see because I don't want to upset you

I want your eyes to light up when you're around me
But all I see is the laziness in your eyes from the cocaine

I am worthy

I want our kisses to be filled with passion
But I want to vomit from the spell of alcohol that I can spell from a mile away

I want the kind of love that is enviable and that can never be broken
But I don't know how many more slap and punches I can take.

I want you to make sure I'm okay and not to just take my word for it
I want you to truly be sorry for your actions

I am worthy

I want you to love me not lust for me

I want the kind of love that is never willing to give up on me
But I feel like you rather kick me down instead of picking me up

I want my eyes to sparkle with joy everytime I look at you
But my eyes are filled with fear instead

I want life to be unbearable without you
But instead like is unbearable with you

I am Worthy

I want the kind of love that betters us
But everytime I try to give my input you accuse me of trying to change you

I want the kind of love that will never cheat
But I feel hopeless when you call me other girl’s name

I want the kind of love that is always willing to be their for me when I need you
But even when you're around I feel so alone

I am Worthy

I want a guy that I can always be myself around
But I’m afraid

I want the kind of love that doesn't hurt in a bad way
But every time you come home from drinking with the boys you're the one that hurts me

I want the kind of love that hurts when we're not around each other
To be honest I feel way safer when you're not around

I am Worthy

I want the kind of love that is easy to communicate with
But slapping me in the face is your way of communication

I want the kind of love that recognizes my worth
But I don’t know how that will happen because you treat me worse than a stranger on the street does

I want every feeling we have for each other to be mutual
But this relationship sometimes feels so one sided

I want the kind of love that yearns to be in each other's presence
But instead I find myself yearning for your love while you're constantly drinking

I want the kind of love that is filled with God
But everytime I try to get you to go to church you curse me out
left and right

I don't want that graveyard kind of love where you will rather kill me than to let me be happy without you

I am Worthy to be purely loved