Eve

I am filled with love for my family to the top of my head to the tip my toes

They take my house and make it a home with endless laughter

Their smiles bloom like fresh flowers and my house is their garden of eden

My family is the peace brought the gentle kiss of snow on an outstretched palm

We have a dynamic more precious than all the time in the universe

And I wouldn't give it up for the world

It's why I let them use the pressure of expectations to mold me into a perfect little girl

I'll pretend to be the leaf in their wind as long as get to keep what we have

But sometimes I'm a little too ridge

Like a stone that will never be chiseled into a glorious Greek statue

I want to be everything you want me too, but my resistance is unintentional

It is a fire that I was never able to fully contain

The one that I know they fear will melt their snowy serenity

My greatest fear is them noticing that I am the extra puzzle piece on a completed picture

It makes me want to jump out of my own skin

I feel uncomfortable in my own home

Yet at peace in the confines of my own mind

I've spent years trying to smother the fire in my soul

Beat my heart in to submission

But I can't change the way I love

My home is where Allah takes precedence over everybody else

His word is law

Allah says girls shouldn't like girls

My home says being gay is a part of American culture

Some child's desperate cry for attention

Girls who like other girls are girls who are possessed by satan's temptations

I am possessed by satan's temptation

I can't help but fall for a voice so sweet it drips caramel

Her eyes consume me like hellfire

I feel at home in the midst of a thousands suns

It's warmth is the peace brought by the gentle kiss of snow on an outstretched palm

That feeling is worth all the time in the universe

A feeling that burns family photos to ash leaving me with fleeting memories

I hear them gossip about how my cousin was disowned for joking about being gay

How they thanked God it was another one of his pranks

And I wonder what they would do if they knew about me

Would they shred my soul with their words

Try to exorcise the demon that plagues me

Or would they turn their backs on me and pretend I was the mistake they never made

I'm terrified of the day that the truth slips past my lips

So I must let go of the fire

Forget about eating the forbidden fruit and stay with Adam

Because love is not love to everyone

And I would do everything to stay in my garden of eden