Lover Sea

I’ve searched through the books,

leafed through a dictionary.

no answer to these looks.

i can't find it i'm growing weary.

i can't find a way to possibly describe

this resentment that festers within me.

oh i'm so good at hiding it inside.

in a couple years will i really be free?

or will i see the same wrongness again,

this truth i can't escape.

dissecting actions, taking apart the pen.

is it wine or a rotten grape.

oh but i am a lover, lover of the sea.

i want to skip a pebble like i used to

across waters until it falls down to me.

i wish the small stone could frolic on and on with no diving under the blue.

there's no point in jealousy.

hold on longer and do the same next year.

most don't leave a legacy,

only an ink smear.

they don't help too much,

for no person is enough.

sharpen like a coal in the midst of iron.

not anything notable, it's just my bluff.

i'm really sinking with a smile,

it still doesn't make a story out of me.

instincts won't let me go,

so i'll be terrified of the sea.