Plans

I am a girl

The "perfect daughter"

Pretty, happy, optimistic above all, wanted

The planned one

Made by my mother to be

Graphic designer,

2 kids,

a loving husband,

Big house in the Highlands

A respectable black women

The American Dream

My mother raised me to be like she was

Top of my graduating class

Making excuses when I didn't play up to her par

But still giving me attitude when I started to peel away

Breaking her control

Breaking her "unconditional love and suppport"

We both didn't think her love had conditions

We both though she would help support my dreams

But we were both wrong

Because this is a lie

I'm a boy

Handsome, depressed, cynical, above all, unwanted

I came out as queer

Quickly became unplanned

My plan

A teacher, maybe kids, a person with dyed hair and pronouns

Hoping and praying to have the basics

A working car and, if I'm lucky, a house

The American Dream Revised

Mom

You and i found out about my queerness at different times

That pandemic changed me

For me, the better

For you, the worse

I'm sorry this is the way that it is now

Trying to tell you that maybe planned isn't always the way to go

Because plans go bad

Plans become queer

Plans can go from the "perfect daughter" to the wanted son