Ten Seconds Away

Red, hot sun burns through my eyelids

The tall grass brushes against my ears

Fingers against my body

I begin counting down 

Aiming to reach the depths of my mind

Ten

The quiet becomes louder 

Deafening 

I feel the sharp stems of overgrown grass

Moving back and forth and back and forth

Faster, the grass is hurting me

Nine 

I pause, wait, my eyes open 

Through thin slits I watch 

Skin on skin, I slip deeper into

The pitfalls of my mind

Eight 

The pain increases as it spreads lower

Deeper, and down through my stomach and then more

I squeeze my legs together 

Stop, please stop, I hear a voice

She’s crying, begging, I reach out for her 

Trembling fingers land on my wet face, open mouth, vibrating throat 

Seven

Behind closed lids I see

The clouds floating above

Dark grey and full of rain 

Dripping down my face 

Salty liquid fills up my mouth

I’m choking

Six

My lungs burn, my throat hoarse 

My upper body jerks up, not being held down by those hands 

I turn my head towards the side and gag 

Nothing comes and just as fast as I went up

I’m being pushed back down 

Fingers wrapped tightly around my neck

Five

My warm palm pushes into the exposed dirt

My nails are full of soil, my fingers caked

I keep digging, scratching 

Throwing fistfuls of dirt up 

Fireworks, they explode from my hand

Up through the air, they fly, and then they fall 

My mouth tastes like salty, metallic, dirt

Four 

Everything burns 

Blood rushes to my ears

It pulses under his fingers gripping my neck

I watch the red flow through my eyelids 

Traveling through my body

I’m on fire but I never turn to ash

Three

I hear the sinister look on that face 

That repulsive face opens and out comes my name

And again, and again, and again

Longer each time, louder

Two

The timbre echos in my ears

Bouncing along the walls of my skull

Vibrating in my brain 

and up through my hair

One 

Shh, the sound of the end

Waves crashing against the shore

I reach my sanctuary

My heels dig into the sand

Faintly I hear someone talking

“Get up, don’t act like you didn’t ask for it”

But I’m safe now so I stay

And I sink further into the sand

I’m swallowed by the water and it carries me 

Away